New Years 2008/2009, but Why?

As promised, I now deliver to you all the second installment of my last-minute blog entries for this second academic marking period. Hoping to allay the ever-mounting pressure of this assignment, Im'a gonna be'a using somewhere in the general neighborhood of fifteen vocabulary words in this entry; I plan to get the bulk of this assignment over with today and tomorrow in order to allow myself the excellent ability to do as minimal work as possible on Thursdey...eh. Aboot that 'dere plan; I figure it's in my best interests to openly inform my lovely English professor of my plan lest I be sternly castigated for my clever and quite risky ruse. Now then, not to appear a lowly literary sycophant, I reckon it's aboot time to begin my coverage of this here new year.

What can I possibly have to say about this new year? Not much, apparently. But what little I DO have to say can easily fill up a small dossier if I write hard enough (that also brings up a philosophical question that would better belong on Bill's blog: is it better to be a tad laconic or excessively garrulous about any given subject?). I suppose then that I'll begin with my resolutions for the up and coming year. First of all, I desperately need to learn to dance. As many of you may have already known prior to this particular point in time, I might possibly be considered to be good at schoolwork? At any rate, my academic prowesses don't help one iota when it comes to the more physical arts such as dancing. It's almost as though a rather grumpy raincloud (cumulonimbus, perhaps?) with much choler looms over the "afro" on my head; I literally couldn't dance to save my life. Seriously, my clumsiness and overall physical ineptitude hinder any possible progress I can make in this advanced field of rigorous study. I figure I might as well get a head start on this resolution really soon, seeing as the Winter Ball is Friday. To add injury to insult (and I say this because she's sometimes implacable and extremely quick to facetiously cause me physical and mental harm), my dance partner has been taking dance classes for the past fifteen years...Needless to say, unless I suddenly become some sort of groovy dancing parvenu by Friday, all of my numerous scruples may actually have a solid foundation in the world of reality.

Secondly, and completely unrelatedly, I am really gullible. I'm so credulous that I had the most Lynch stickers in freshman year Honors Geometry (five total); for those of you unfamiliar with the term, Mr. Lynch would give out humorous stickers of his head whenever a student would say something really excessively stupid, dumb, obvious, or riddled with the cachets of gullibility. I need to work on that. Obviously, of course.

Thirdly, anyone who has known me for a longish period of time knows that I am of a capricious disposition. Literally, I tend to be a bit wacky, spontaneous, and unpredictable in certain situations, quite the contrast to my normal academic facade. Honestly, I need to be a tad less so; I've always wanted to be one of those cool, laid-back, chill, groovy, slick cats...maan.

A quick fourth thing: I need more age. Why, you may ask? I figure, since I AM young Maximillian the Moxious, it's high time I finally gained entry into "Arrrr" rated movies....get it?

Fifthly, I need to be able to fit "imprimatur" into a sentence. And so, I present you with this: "The humor and wit contained in my internet weblog will be made available to all citizens of this grand green Earth should I happen to obtain an imprimatur for its physical publishing" (Tinati). Grand.

At any rate, I believe that my time here is almost up. I hope that my goals aren't too quixotic in nature; they're completely accomplishable within a short time span, right? Aboot that...